Im in Costa and WHY does it feel so safe in here, like a big warm hug! its so busy and im snuggled in the corner listening to music typing away *Smiles on my blog! feels goos and
As always, it’s been a minute lol heheee! I’ve been so busy with work and trying to figure a lot out. Big gal movements are overwhelming, and I do understand that I’m lucky to have such Big Gal movements happening. I think I find myself having to say this just in case someone comes on here thinking I’m some selfish brat lol — it’s not that I care what they think, it’s more of a reminder to anyone reading this that I’m a human doing it alone, with pride and demons/self doubt.
I don’t want to be scared or overwhelmed, ya get me? I’m constantly striving for a strong and positive mindset, but the nervous system is the nervous system — and this is my first time at life!
YES, I have great friends, but they aren’t the ones having to make my choices — they’re also not me, WE out here loving and supporting each other through everything and my big-ass emotions (GOD BLESS DEM). Thankful!
So yeah, big moves. Big feelings. SO big, I cried for two hours over how I can’t believe how blessed I’ve been to get where I am now!
You know when they say no one’s coming to save you? Well, I actually feel like I’ve saved myself this year — all in the name of my creativity and craving for my own safe space for it!
I realised at the beginning of the year that if I ever wanted the life I dream of, and to be able to create freely, I was going to have to go even harder — step out of my comfort zone and put my creativity to the side for a bit to focus. I needed my life to change.
And you know those posts online that say “Live now, time is flying by”? Babes… it’s easy for someone with a solid foundation to say that! I was trying to live with balance of work and play, but every time I went out to “Play”, it kept me in the same space, place, and it just wasnt enough for my creativity and soul, i needed change and some.
Now — I do agree with that saying, and that’s exactly why I’ve taken a year to build my finances and goals and a newer version of me, so I can comfortably live and actually afford it. It’s had me messed up at times though… 4 months in I was saying to the cleaner at my job in Audi, “Have you seen my soul?” She would always laugh at me, little did she know i was so serious. — I lost it quite quickly! But I’m excited to find her again and make peace with her.
When that’ll be… I’m guessing mid-November or December!
I’ve made a list of all the things I want to do this winter — see below 👇
Pubs with fireplaces & games
Go see fireworks and a bonfire
Get the right outfits so I want to go outside in the rain
Get Netflix
Be kissed under real mistletoe
Keep showing up at the gym! Get that phaattt batty!
Go for your first Pie & Mash in London
Cinema dates — with myself & my mates
Help the homeless
Pumpkin carving or painting
Tables & dancing — London, Piccadilly Theatre
Learn more about my intuition
Visit the National Gallery or Natural History Museum
Finish writing your fiction book in a beautiful location
Buy your first home
Buy a new car
A clear business plan
Learn sign language
Book a Paris trip
Unlimited chicken wings on Wednesdays at BrewDog
Christmas Market 🎄
Maybe.... Just maybe fall in LUV
Finsih learning the lyrics to Tupca Hit 'Em Up
Now, I’ll be adding more! sned inspo if you like, id like to add somewhere to dance, Gosh!! I’ve just realised my birthday is soon — omg! I’ll be in Ireland, the land where my blue eyes, freckles, and dark hair are from. I’ll be working on my birthday, but adding a few extra days there to celebrate the birth of meeeeee!
I don’t usually talk about my acts of kindness, but this one hit differently.
I was at Heathrow, Terminal 5 — hated every moment of it. People everywhere, it was a bit much for me that day. Probably because I had meetings happening and everyone just seemed on smoke.
Anyway, I finished my meeting, my gate number came up, and I sat down on a row of three seats. There was a suitcase there, but I couldn’t work out who it belonged to — until this guy in his mid-30s slumped into one of the seats, crying on the phone. It was like he’d just been told someone had died.
At first, I didn’t know what to do. I messaged my mate who knows me so well, saying, “Mate, there’s this guy crying next to me — I need to do something but I don’t know how.”And if I’m honest, I did feel a bit uncomfortable because he was a man. She didn’t know what to advise other than, “If he seems sketchy, leave him alone.”
In that moment, I realised I had tissues. So I pulled them out, reached over, and tapped him.“Here you go,” I said.
He took them, and I asked, “Do you want a hug?”(God, it makes me feel emotional just thinking about it.)
He looked at me and said no — but with grateful, teary eyes for the tissues. Totally fine. I just hoped he’d be okay, even though I could tell he wasn’t.
So it was time for me to move on and check in. I got up and started walking to the queue when I felt a tap on my shoulder — it was him.
I took my headphones out and he looked at me, still crying, and said, “Thank you so much.”
I grabbed his arm and gave him that look of, “Of course I’d help you.”I said, “That’s okay — look after yourself, take care.”
I didn’t hug him (worried he wasn’t comfortable with it), but God, I wanted to squeeze him so tight.
The feeling of two humans connecting — that reminder that there are still good people in the world — hit me deeply. There were thousands of people around us, and I think it hit harder because I thought, if I hadn’t said something, would anyone have?
So yeah, it hit different — and it made me feel good.It’ll always be something I think about when I meet not-so-kind people.
Remember to be kind, people. ❤️
Anyways just got a call from my girl to say come over for dinner and jaysus do i need a bug hug from her and i need a wee! catch up soon! i hope you are all well and thriving! sending you all the love.
