It hit me softly, like a truth that had always been there — waiting for the right moment to be noticed.
I’m a lover girl. Always have been. I love love. I love the feeling of building something real with someone. The comfort in shared silence, the warmth of being understood, the deep joy in simply knowing you’ve got someone to come home to. That’s me at my core — someone who feels safest wrapped in love.
And yet… here I am, standing at a point in my life where I have no choice but to choose myself first. Not because I’ve stopped believing in love — far from it. But because I’ve learned the hard way what it costs to lose myself for it.
I’ve had the kind of breakups that don’t just end a relationship — they uproot your whole world. The kind where you find yourself packing your life into boxes, grieving not just a person but a plan. A future you imagined. A home you thought was yours. And I just… can’t go through that again. Not now.
So I’m building something else instead — me. My goals, my dreams, my stability. I’m learning how to stand so firmly on my own that nothing can shake me like that again.
But still — I’m a lover girl. And I don’t want to lose hope. I still believe in deep, honest love — the kind that doesn’t require shrinking or sacrificing who you are. I still dream of finding someone who sees me fully and walks beside me, not ahead or behind.
It’s just that, this time, I won’t chase it. This time, it’ll have to find me — while I’m busy becoming everything I’ve promised myself I’d be. Realising this & other things that have been overwhelming me got me in tearzzzzz I’d been holding it in for days actually weeks — too busy, too distracted, too “fine.” But the tears came, eventually. A big girl cry. The kind that takes the weight off your chest. And honestly? It felt amazing. Like breathing properly for the first time in weeks.
-I hope life is treating you good, and hey.... lets all remember if life was always good there would be nothing to be grateful for, i think..... coming from a very grateful Human being.
