The Narrative PT1

I’m out here changing it the best I can, guys.

I had a moment recently with a man I’ve been speaking to every day — and we still are — but there was a point where he disappeared for two days. For a second, I thought, “What a dick.” Then I stopped myself. Because we had already spoken about what this was. No pressure. No ownership. No forced expectations. Just two humans talking and seeing where life takes it. We had both agreed that if either one of us no longer wanted to continue, we would simply say goodbye… properly. With honesty. So I held him to that instead of holding him to my fear. When he came back, he explained he had been struggling mentally and had overthought how to return after going quiet. I already knew he’d had a difficult week, so the “lowness” itself did not surprise me. My mind was never really “Why hasn’t he replied?” It was more, “I hope he’s okay.” And honestly… that is how a lot of women think when they genuinely care. What mattered to me was that he came back honestly. That part is important. Not because disappearing should become acceptable behaviour, and not because people should excuse ghosting, but because vulnerability is actually very difficult for some people. Especially in the early stages of knowing someone, where everything is usually high energy, exciting, flirty, beautiful… and then suddenly life arrives right in the middle of it all.

BANG.

Now you have to show the messy side. The low side. The uncertain side. The side that isn’t pretty nor charming. And that can feel terrifying.

If it helps anyone reading this.....I’ve had a lot of therapy to learn how to be vulnerable without feeling like a burden. Even now, there are moments where I still have to mentally count 1,2,3 before saying something uncomfortable out loud & i HAVE to say it or i feel really stuck and not authentically myself. So if vulnerability feels difficult for you, you are not alone. I genuinely believe the hard bits are the bits we must show the most. Whether it’s a friendship, a pen pal, a lover, or a potential honey… SHOW the hard parts too.

Because life is hard, My lovers. And how somebody reacts to your hardship tells you everything you need to know.

Not in a “test them” kind of way. Not with judgment. But with awareness. People reveal themselves most clearly in moments where things are imperfect. And equally, we should choose wisely with how we respond to other people’s vulnerability too.

Take the days you need. Feel what you need to feel. Life should already be full enough that we are not allowing new connections to emotionally chokehold us. But if you are going to make a comeback after disappearing… make it honest. Make it thoughtful. Those moments matter. Don’t be a dick. After receiving his message, I realised sooo much for everyone, i felt for all the people who let go of something that could have been beautiful just because life got hard and i get how hard it is to make that come back!

Also don't invent stories in your head about what somebody “really meant” through a screen. you can only take someone at face value until real life shows you otherwise. Messages can only tell you so much. REAL Intentions are felt properly in person. And that part… for me and him is yet to happen, but let that teach you something.

Nothing But Love.

T xoxo