"The One He Told Me Not to Worry About"

There’s a particular kind of sting that comes with finding out your ex is now with the person he once told you not to worry about. It’s not just the betrayal — it’s the gaslighting, the self-doubt, the way your gut told you something wasn’t quite right, and he made you feel mad for noticing. But I noticed. And I didn’t ignore it, my intuition would not let me. Even if I stayed longer than I should’ve, even if I tried to believe his words over my instincts — in the end, I trusted myself enough to leave. And that counts for something.

I’m proud of the woman who walked away. Proud of the version of me who chose peace over confusion, clarity over chaos, and self-respect over potential. Because deep down after taking in who he is truly is/was...I knew he wasn’t the one. I knew he couldn’t love me in the way I needed & deserved — not safely, not fully, not truthfully. i actually think he kneew that to. Still…It hurts. Not because I want him back, absolutely not. But because I’m human — and a decent one at that. I loved with honesty. I showed up with softness. I gave what I had and more. So yes, it hurts.

But I do hope he’s done the work. I hope he’s faced the parts of himself that couldn’t sit still in healthy love. and in actual health. I hope he’s learnt how to hold space, not just take it. And I hope — for her sake — he’s became the man I once believed he could be. Sadly i know not much changes when it comes to Men.

As for me, I’ll keep listening to my gut. love of myself harder and keep being enough for me.

Love shouldn’t feel like survival. I’m not hard to love. I was just back then loving in the wrong direction. I honestly believe that this is all building me up for meeting the most calming peaceful most healing kind of love which i kind of have with myself, so i cant help but feel grateful for the lessons & the pain.

So... tonight i let myself grieve for that version of me who once loved the wrong man, there are no regrets in what once was because if i were to leave this planet tomorrow i would leave it knowing what love whether wrong or right felt like. My life is good and i wouldn't have what i have now without the past.

Nothing But Love, Always.

T xoxo